Sunshine on a Cloudy Day?

A little over a year ago we bought our first house. We had been looking for a few months and had just survived the month long approval process for what we've dubbed the forever house. This was not only the time we were looking for our home to raise a family in, but that we were starting our family. We both finally had great jobs and we were in the market for a home to raise our kids in so it was perfect timing.

The morning to do the final walk through and meet the lawyers to sign paperwork had come. There were several things that had to be done before our loan was finalized and there was no turning back now if they hadn't done them. Fingers crossed, we walked into our home and everything was perfect. Everything came together just the way we wanted, so onto the lawyers. After signing SO MUCH PAPERWORK, the house and keys were ours.

We were so excited we immediately went to our rental, which I had been slowly packing up for the past month in hopes we'd be out soon, to load up both of our 4 door cars and grabbed the dog. We wanted the dog to get a chance to smell the house to slowly get used to it as we brought loads in periodically. We brought in our first load and were so excited. For a few days later we had movers set up for the big furniture since we had been trying to have kids we didn't want to risk me being pregnant and moving anything too heavy.

After boxes are moved in we ordered a pizza and hung out in our new home. To tie into the excitement I decided to take a pregnancy test and as luck would have it we were going to be parents! We now had two things to celebrate!! Our new house and our new baby all in the same day. The excitement was unbearable for both of us.

We continued to make small trips in our tiny cars throughout the week and while I was tracked out the dog and I continued to make small trips during the day. The even bigger news we were keeping to ourselves to make sure nothing was going wrong before we announced to our families.

Fast forward about a week and the movers finally came to move all of our big furniture for us. This was our 5th move in 6 years and we were done with the heavy lifting and breaking our backs. Pointing to where each piece went was so much easier. My husband was downstairs with a beer and I was upstairs organizing the furniture in the bedrooms. Highly recommend this if you are in need of movers.

However, I had started spotting and needed my mother. We decided to call her while the movers were there because I needed to talk to her right then. My mother used to be a nurse in several different fields, including the NICU, and has had 4 kids of her own so she knows just about everything. So the beginning of the conversation was excitement and turned to a little more serious as she confirmed our fears.

A few days later I miscarried at 5 weeks. We were devastated. We had this big beautiful house to raise children in with no children. After talking to my mother A LOT and both my husband and I doing a bunch of research we thought maybe it was a blighted ovum. If that was the case we were very lucky it miscarried at 5 weeks instead of having to go longer and realize it was not viable. I was still beside myself depressed and had to go back to work. A coworker shortly after announced her pregnancy and all I could be was jealous. I knew her story and knew I shouldn't hold it against her, but I was upset at my own loss and couldn't help it. So, I avoided her and walked away when any conversations about her and her pregnancy came up.

Fast forward to Christmas. We found out a few days after Christmas day just before we left for my husband's grandfathers house to celebrate Christmas with his family. His sister who had also been trying and suffered a miscarriage at 9 weeks announced to the family that weekend that she was pregnant again. We decided to tell her, but no one else after she and I had been comparing stories.

Same exact routine. Started spotting a few days later and lost any hopes of the Christmas spirit. At exactly 5 weeks I miscarried again. This time I was even more depressed. What was wrong with me? No woman in my family has ever had these issues, why me? So again more research and tearful conversations with my mother. This time we came to the conclusion that my progesterone was low. At about 5 weeks the ovum attaches to the lining and uses your body's progesterone to grow. Well, if your body doesn't produce enough progesterone it can't carry the ovum to term. I made my annual doctor visit and included I wanted testing done to figure out why I had multiple miscarriages.

My doctor was amazing, he told me though that insurance doesn't consider it a medical emergency until 3 or more miscarriages. I couldn't believe, but I didn't care. We were willing to pay whatever necessary to have this child and figure out what was wrong with me. He tested for a variety of things including having my progesterone tested and an ultrasound to make sure everything was healthy. Guess what, nothing was wrong...except my progesterone. He put me on Clomid which is to be taken during days 3-7 of your cycle. It's enough to remind your body of what it's supposed to be doing.

And guess what? I got pregnant first shot, but didn't believe it. Between weeks 4-5 I ignored every sign thinking my period was going to start any day. By week 5 I started feeling a little nauseous and thought it was the cold I was fighting, but my husband forced me to take a pregnancy test anyway. Let's just say it didn't need the full 5 minutes to say pregnant this time. I was still so paranoid, but this time it was different. I made it past 5 weeks for the first time, we had a good feeling about this.

8 week appointment comes and we confirmed on ultrasound it was real, lots of tears of excitement. 12 week appointment we heard a strong heartbeat and it was getting bigger. We were so excited we decided to tell everyone. Turns out my body just needed help staying pregnant, but once it stuck it knew exactly what to do.

I debated writing this story and putting it out into the public eye because I don't want pity. It took me 2 miscarriages and 6 months to get pregnant and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. I'm 2 weeks away from welcoming our angel into this world and I know people who have never experienced this joy or who struggled even more than we did. I decided to share my story to hopefully help someone else out who is having a similar experience to let you know for me it was a simple fix--maybe it will be for you too. Never give up hope and if you're concerned go to the doctor to seek help.

My husband makes fun of me, but I'm a firm believer in fate. Everything happens for a reason. I don't know why I had to go through 2 miscarriages, but I do know this is going to be one loved child. It will be hard not to spoil her after the heartache we went through to get her.